ARTICLE (March 09 2010): "Rehman Malik has given the abductors of the five-year-old British boy 48 hours to return the boy."

"Why 48 hours?"

"That's a nice round number. Two days you know..."

"It's already been a lot more than two days. Why did he have to give two more days?"

"I don't know. Who knows what gets the Interior Minister to say what he does!"

"Getting his face on television is one reason."

"Don't be facetious. We all like our face on television and apparently it's like a drug addiction: once you are on TV you want to always be on TV."

"Why doesn't he get a job as an anchor then?"

"Two things: not as much money though if the jiyalas be believed there are some hidden sources of wealth for some journalists, shall we say. And second an anchor has to be subject to ratings. Now you know and I know that Malik has always had very poor ratings amongst the general public, now if you talk of keeping one man or one woman happy then Malik does very well."

"You are being facetious."

"Why can't I be facetious? Why can only Malik be allowed to be facetious?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I regard his statement that the boy be returned in 48 hours as being facetious. What if the kidnappers do return the boy? They will not be prosecuted?"

"Malik said he will make an example of the kidnappers."

"How?"

"By giving them exemplary punishment I presume."

"He doesn't control the courts."

"Rehman Malik was reportedly one of the negotiators of the national reconciliation ordinance (NRO) so I would presume he can draft an NRO for kidnappers. I mean maybe that's what he was referring to when he told the kidnappers they had 48 hours."

"How about an NRO for the Taliban?"

"Oh shush, this is not a joke."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2010